The more things change, the more things stay the same...

So...in typical Jenna fashion, it's been years since I posted last. I could spend time on that, but I'm just going to move right on.

I've been working on upping my technological game and my student engagement game. No, I don't mean I've become a matchmaker for my students. I teach middle school, y'all! I mean using learning activities that actively engage my students and grab their attention. I made my own task cards and the QR answer key to go with it. I have ideas swimming around my head on ways to engage my students who are in an ELA pullout class. I was pretty pleased with myself.

Fast forward a few hours to today and cue the whomp, whomp sound effect. I have worked on changing things, but students have too. I had an assignment that specifically said to use Google Docs to compose a 250 or more word reflection. The student's assignment is clearly not the required length and he or she attached an image to the assignment in Google Classroom instead of the Google Doc that she or he was supposed to attach. Like I don't know. Like I can't count and figure out it isn't the correct length.

The student deprived herself or himself of a learning opportunity, but I got one today. Classroom management is a whole different ball game than it was when I first started teaching, but the good news is I keep getting opportunities to grow in this area. At least, this is how I'm choosing to look at it. :)

*Edit: I graded the student's assignment and it is long enough. It didn't look it, but it was. Now, I really wonder why he or she didn't submit it the right way. Why make it harder to grade? It was just as difficult, if not more so, to submit it this way.

Circus of distraction

I was sitting on the couch thinking, "I am supposed to be somewhere. I put everything in my phone, but yet I know this isn't there. If it's wedding related, it's in my paper planner. I'm in the wrong somewhere...where am I supposed to be?" I was supposed to be at Q&A with two local, but nationally reputed, doctors. And! They were serving wine. I forgot wine. I didn't know that was possible. So I e-mailed the friend I was supposed to meet and took the previously committed time to reflect. A song popped into my head,

Can I just say I wish I were that beautiful? Back to the point at hand, I have a few short days (okay weeks) of summer left and my life is going to be going full throttle, full speed ahead. Teachers report back soon and while my first year in fifth went pretty well, I want my next year to be pretty awesome. I did okay, but I know I can do better. I have worked with some amazing fifth grade teachers and fifth grade could be kinda fun in a different way from middle school. I want to rock this out! I'm reading, "Teach like a Pirate," reading my textbooks, and secretly pinning the daylights out of fifth grade things. I left my room pretty clean and organized so I kind of can't wait to get back and get to work on it.

I'm getting married in 349 days (at least that's how many days I think The Knot said when it told me to get cracking on finding a venue.) I love my fiancé and he's been amazing and understanding. This summer will be my last summer as a single lady. Don't get excited. It hasn't been full of nights out on the town, midnight margaritas, and weekly mani-pedis. 1) teacher salary and 2) teacher sleep schedule. I still turn into a pumpkin before midnight during the summer. I've been in FL spending time with my mom (who has a broken foot) and my grandma. It gave me time to earn some extra money, help out a bit, and reflect. Rock Guy proposed while we were on vacation at my favorite place in the world. Some crazy has already kicked in. We met with my former pastor about premarital counseling (exciting and scary.) My mom and I keep going back and forth about a major wedding expense: the reception. The dress that I thought I wanted, but was out of my price range has been discontinued. I just want to wear pink when I marry Rock Guy. I'm goi wedding dress shopping tomorrow. We'll see how that goes.

I'm freaking out about money. I have a thing I'd like taken care of before the Rock Guy and I marry. I see no way how to do the thing and to pay for half the wedding and not eat ramen noodle soup daily. I've been searching for ways to make extra money and the reality is: I need to sit down and have a financial come to Jesus with myself. Rock Guy knows about the thing, but I don't know if he feels like I do: it should be taken care of before we marry. I'd feel better, but I feel like Rock Guy will be like, "I love you, we'll take care of the thing together." I don't want the thing to become "The Thing" and I feel like bringing it up again will make it "The Thing." The thing is not bringing it up makes it "That Thing." Either way, it's a thing that needs addressed. I kind of want to delete this paragraph, but  that's just because I feel vulnerable. Suck it, buttercup.

Then, there's this whole other thing. Rock Guy and I are getting married and know we want kids. That means I cannot become a workaholic again. Rock Guy didn't know me then, but we wouldn't have met each other because he wasn't in my classroom and I wasn't anywhere else. I'm looking for ways to be more efficient and increase efficacy.

Then, you have faith life. I've been on vacation for a few Sundays and I feel a little disconnected faith-wise. I need a jump. I'm physically, mentally, and emotionally recharged, but not spiritually. That's on me. Everything comes out of this. It's like trying to listen to an iPod without headphones (and before built in speakers.)

Blog Wishing

“A goal without a plan is just a wish.” ― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

I think my ideas regarding writing a blog were blog wishing.  They're not bad ideas, just unrealistic.  I would like to be one of those teachers that has an aesthetically pleasing suite of digital footprints following me.  My Pinterest boards would be carefully curated collages of things I do and want to do.  My public Facebook page would have status updates that are funny and useful and yet keep people a little in the loop about me.  Instagram would have cute pictures of student projects and great field trip locations.  My blog would have a schedule so that people know what to expect from good ole J-Dub.  And! While I wouldn't be a high roller on TpT, I'd at least have a storefront that could maybe fund my caffeine addiction.

But there was no planning in that dream.  While I could teach a day or so without lesson plans, I certainly wouldn't go about teaching a whole semester or year without a plan.  We'd just wander and maybe we'd end up where we should be.

But in real life, I'm busy planning things and doing things.  Planning: units, experiential education trips, field trips, to travel to Pensacola for Mardi Gras, summer travel, drafting a short story, how I'm going to redo my room, running a 5k.  Doing: teaching, grading papers, report cards, going to Disney, walking, reading books for book club, reading my way through my classroom library.

I know I work better in terms of social media when I have a calendar.  Here's what's coming up, here's what I'm tentatively going to write and when.  Here's the pictures I'll need to make that happen.  I didn't realize any of this until I wrote this post today.  I'm not sure if that's good or bad, but it is a starting point.

Stay well, I have three students out today and tomorrow!
J-W

'Twas the Week of Halloween

'Twas the week of Halloween
And all through the school
All you heard was screaming
Even though it wasn't "cool."

The pumpkins were carved
Into goofy little heads
Werewolves, vampires
And lots of the undeads.

The kids learned nothing
Though the teachers were trying.
And let's face it: already
The janitors were crying.

Lost wigs, broken glass,
Thrown eggs, wet TP
The janitor's closet
Was the place to be!

Except that's where the ghosts hid,
Ghosts of former bad students
Who were merely punished
For mischievousness and impudence!

The parents they moaned
When they saw the assignment planner.
Healthy snacks, NO NUTS!
Hulk smash! Just like Bruce Banner!

"There's no groceries in this house!
And Publix isn't open this late."
"Thought I told you Monday,
Why are you so irate?"

Treats procured,
Danger of uncoolness averted
Costume crafted
Hot mess diverted.

Pixi stixs inhaled
Sugar surged through their veins
Chocolate coursed, but
Tomorrow was nowhere near their brains.

Happy Halloween to all and to all a good fright
On this not quite yet Halloween night!

Good luck teaching November 1st! We're off and I'm off to EPCOT.

I just can't say no

I just can't say no. I take that back, I don't choose to say no often enough.  The problem is I have ideas, a willingness to help, and only 24 hours to work with.  I wanted to blog as an opportunity to practice reflecting and writing.

But this was the first thing to get cut.  So the second thing to get cut was pretty much my personal life.  I'm beginning to think my book club thinks I'm a character in a book they read: full of personality and plot twists, but imaginary.  Of course, I haven't had time to use my Disney annual pass so I haven't even been to the Food and Wine Fest.  I'm pretty sure I missed the Hanson concert that I wanted to catch.  I like a few of their songs (excluding Mmmm Bop.) I didn't have time for planning my 2nd annual Halloween party or putting together a Halloween costume.  There are other things that have been cut too.

This has been a difficult year,  in a mostly good way.  I think I said earlier that the first day of school felt more like the third week of school. We just dove in and learned right off the bat.  It was a good thing.  I did have a student who was a real challenge.  I called him Steve Prefontaine because he ran out of French class.  He had some medical conditions and some learning challenges that my small private school didn't have the resources or personnel to accommodate.  Whenever a student withdraws, I always wonder if there is something that I could have done differently.  With this student, I know that I did what I could.  I like him as a person and wish him luck at his new school.

It's been a difficult year for other reasons.  We have few teachers at my school and a ton of events. I've spent more time doing FB marketing, planning, and implementing ideas.  In addition, I tutor two students two days a week and two students on another day of the week.  That doesn't include faculty meetings or lesson planning or grading of papers or projects.

It's also been a very satisfying year.  I've seen real progress in the students I'm tutoring.  I've gotten better work from my students.  We've learned a ton.  The events have gone really well.

Now, to work on balance.  If only it were as easy to plan that, right? I hear that I'll have more room in my calendar if say no just a little more often.

No, I can't help with that right now. I think I'm going to have practice saying that. I have books to read, places to go, friends to meet. Balance to attempt to achieve.

Sweet Spots

I'm one of those nerdy teachers that likes brands on Facebook and actually interact with their Facebook pages or Pinterest boards.  So last night's Scholastic Ten O'Teacher question was from a middle school teacher who is currently stuck in kindergarten.

There were some helpful comments about how to handle the challenge she was actually facing, but there were many really, really unhelpful comments.  There were teachers telling her she should be grateful to have a job, that she would like them by the end of the year, and criticizing her for not liking kindergarten.

I have no advice for her for this year.  Kindergarteners are like nieces and nephews: cute, but thank God, I can return them.  There are grades or subjects that I hadn't considered teaching before and enjoyed and ones that I have sworn: never again!  There is no guarantee she will like them by the end of the year.  To say that she'll like them by the end of the year might make her feel guilty for not liking teaching kindergarten now.  Trust me, there are enough things we can feel guilty for on our own without any assistance.

To tell her she should be grateful to have the job is not much better.  I didn't see what she had written that led people to feel that she was ungrateful.  She sounded like she accepted that she is teaching kindergarten this year and is trying to make it a great year in kindergarten for her kids (why she was asking for help.)  She's trying to make a different plan for next year.  She's reflected on these few short weeks and realized she prefers middle school.  Good for her: we all have our sweet spots and hers is middle school.

Kids are great.  They are creative, funny, talented, inquisitive, and amazing! (Except when they're not.) Since we agree, I'm assuming, that kids are great...let us see if we can't agree something else is great.  Like ice cream.  She prefers chocolate chip cookie dough and people are telling her that she will love butter pecan by the end of the year.  "I would give anything to have butter pecan." say some.  "Why are they giving you butter pecan? Are they trying to put you on a lactose-free diet?" say others. "Butter pecan is the most important ice cream."

I like ice cream, but I really don't like butter pecan.  I would rather have no ice cream than butter pecan. (Is it butter pecan or buttered pecan?  I don't honestly know, I called it butter pecan when I was a kid....it may be something completely different.)  There are plenty of flavors of ice cream I haven't tried that I probably would like and plenty of favors that I wouldn't like.  To tell me to like a flavor I've tried and don't like is a waste of my time and possibly negatively impacts the bowl as well.

I prefer chocolate chip cookie dough too.  Middle school is my fave.  Other kids may be cuter.  They may smell better, but mine are the weirdest and I mean that in the best way possible.  Mine want to like their teacher and want their teacher to like them, but they don't want to hug it out.  They can be awkward and want to know that falling flat on your face isn't permanent (which this teacher has inadvertently proved by occasionally falling on her face.)  They want to figure out who they are as result of or reaction to their parents.  They ask weird questions (what is it with middle school and cannibalism?)  They make tons of choices ranging from stupid (get your feet out of the trash can!) to caring (being kind to people who are hard to like) to inexplicable (if you did the work, why didn't you turn it in?) Some try out sarcasm.  Some get it; some don't.  YouTube videos and candy bring them extreme versions of happiness.  They are my kind of people.

If I tried to be a butter pecan kind of person, I wouldn't appreciate what makes them them.  Don't force your flavor on someone else.  Let them enjoy their flavor of ice cream.

Wicked Insights

I love Wicked, it's my favorite musical...until I start talking about musicals and realize how many I love.  So during my prep on Friday, I'm singing at the top of my lungs (there are benefits to having a portable) when two of my girls come and get me.  One of my boys has gotten upset and run out of class.  The teacher who was teaching the class wanted more help.  Ok...I  don't even register embarrassment about singing loudly (and a little pitchy.)  I run outside thinking that we don't know where the student is, but we did.  He was sitting under the canopy and in clear sight.  We'd sent for the principal as well.

I have no idea, really, how I'm going to handle this because I don't really know what this is.  The principal and I decide that since the student is really upset and says he can't talk about it yet that he should go to my classroom and calm down before we chat.  We go back to my room, I turn down the music and think, "Maybe I can still get some vocab graded." Nope, he decides to start talking as soon as we get back to the room but it is hard to tell what is true and what has been construed.

So after school, I'm reflecting on what happened and trying to figure out what I need to do when "For Good" comes on.  If you haven't memorized every single song (like me), then you may want to know the lyrics I'm referencing,"I've heard it said that people come into our lives for a reason, bringing something we must learn and we are led to those who help us most to grow if we let them and help them in return." The profundity of the statement hit me yet again.

In my short teaching career, I have met a bunch of students, their parents, and extended family.  I have grown so much: learned new content and ways of instructing students, different ways of managing organization, navigating professional relationships with my colleagues, and a better sense of who God has created me to be.  I have grown, yet I know I have much more to learn.

I still don't really know what to do with Steve Prefontaine, but it is clear to me that we're being given the opportunity to grow some more.